Posts Tagged ‘Boston Bruins’

Beast Mode Lucic

June 13, 2013

Beast Mode Lucic

He was born in the glorious maelstrom that was the Boston Bruins Game 7 victory over the Toronto Maple Leafs.  A creature of such primal ferocity that he can make an opposing defensemen lie awake all night sweating and hallucinating a giant black number 17 on their bedroom ceilings.  He’s big, mean and talented and, if you need him to, he can throw your team on his back and carry them to victory against the most improbable odds.

He is Beast Mode Lucic.

BML to his friends.

And thanks to his Twitter @BeastModeLucic we can glimpse more into the tumultuous, visceral life this undiluted savage of a man lives.  Through the miracle of social media we can glean fascinating insight into his personal activities, beliefs, hopes and desires, as well as a unique perspective on the Boston Bruins and the NHL.

Already, we have learned:

  • He’s a big eater.  Enjoys the odd beverage.
  • He likes drawing and painting.  And stealing MBTA busses after big wins.
  • He owns a “mental baboon” named Angus Krejci.
  • His sons will be named Rambo, Wolverine and Sasquatch.
  • He gets warmed up for games by slamming Kaspars Daugavins off of nearby inanimate objects.
  • Goes to Plaster Fun Time with Carl Soderberg to relax.
  • A mentally damaged Mike Komisarek lives in his tool shed.
  • He appreciates medieval weaponry and movies about Pterodactyls.

In his own words, via Twitter:

bml001

“Having a quiet night. And by that I mean hanging out at an abandoned quarry setting off pipe bombs with Mike Komisarek and a mental baboon.”

“Just thought of a good birthday present for Cam Neely. Claude Lemieux and Ulf Samuelsson jammed into a wood chipper. Don’t let me forget.”

“Listen, it’s not cruel that I have Mike Komisarek living in my tool shed & doing odd jobs.  It’s me taking some responsibility for a destroyed human mind.”

“Last year I had Z over for a Game of Thrones viewing party. Fucker threw half my sectional through a 60″ lcd when Ned Stark got decapped.”

“Dreamt last night I was one of the Avengers and my code name was Captain Skullfucker. Called Dan Girardi to tell him about it. Dead silence.”

“Need more sharks around here. Thought of a new pregame ritual where I jump in Boston Harbor & beat the fuck out of a swarm of hammerheads.”

“Getting pumped for the game up on the roof of the TD slamming Kaspars Daugavins face off an old AC unit. He doesn’t seem to mind.”

“Pre game meal: A deep fried 22 lb turkey, a fistful of slim jims. Bowl of Captain Crunch and 3 bottles Guatemalen Coffee Stout. Ready.”

“During the TV timeout I showed Anton Stralman a drawing I made of him being eaten by a giant eel. I made with the crazy eyes. No reaction.”

“When I showed Mike Komisarek my iPad he just looked nervously away and cried a little. I worry about him.”

“Nobody realizes how crazy Greg Campbell is. Rents a room in Somerville, mostly eats hot dogs cooked over sterno. Always on about the UFOs.”

“Dougie Hamilton is an animal. No, I mean literally. Human beings don’t look like that.”

“Why is the Zoo closed at night? Goddamnit all I wanted was to say goodnight to the baby gorilla. Thanks a lot “zoo security”.  Assholes.”

“Chris Neil called me. Some gibberish about dinosaurs and how his dad was “excessively hairy”. I need to change my number again.”

“Note to self: Write a horror movie about a 700 foot tall incontinent hobo. Send to Hollywood. Rake in the dough.”

Tried to get things started with a Molotov Cocktail outside the Rangers dressing room but some security douches stopped me. Buzzkill.”

“When I shook hands with Rick Nash I had an overwhelming urge to apologize for what I said about his mom. Kind of glad I ignored it, actually.”

“Police scanner reporting a naked 6’9″ Eastern European looking guy sprinting up Hanover street with a bottle of Slovovitz high-fiving guys.”

“Z called me, still drunk I think. Invited me over for a cookout. “Not unless you put some clothes on, fucker!” Goddamned crazy giant.”

“Left 24 voicemails for Dion Phaneuf today. Mostly just farting noises. One time I recorded the toilet flushing. I’m sure he appreciates it.”

“If I had to guess I’d say Jarome Iginla spent most of today hiding under a rack at Lowe’s, huffing paint and talking to himself.”

“I feel good. Don’t get me wrong, my armpits smell like King Kong’s taint and I just threw up on Doug Houda. But I feel good.”

“Mike Komisarek got loose again. We found him in the dumpster at Autozone chewing on discarded wiper blades. Your guess is as good as mine.”

“Dear Haters: Brad Marchand’s big nose gets more pussy in any given weekend than you did during your best three year stretch.”

“I’m glad I’m not a Wookie. It’s one thing to be awkwardly tall or awkwardly hairy. But not both.”

“I just thought of a hilarious joke.

The 2013 Montreal Canadiens”

Something tells me there’s more where that came from.

 

@BeastModeLucic

Do or Die

April 18, 2011

Not a whole lot to say leading into tonight’s Game Three up in Montreal. Fuck all the analysis. Fuck all the complaing and worrying. We all know what’s on the line. Jobs in the organization hang in the balance and an entire city of fans are ready to march on TD Garden with torches if this thing goes down the toilet tonight.

It’s up to the Boston Bruins to do something about it. Now or never.

That means you, Milan Lucic. David Krejci. Nathan Horton. All of you.

Do something.

Chara Hospitalized

April 16, 2011

News this morning that Zdeno Chara spent last night in the hospital for dehydration. Disturbing news for Bruins fans, indeed, heading into the crucial game two tonight at TD Garden of the B’s-Habs first round series with their team down 1-0. Word so far is that he will play but how effective he might be is certainly a relevant question.

The real question, to me, is why? Is he ill? It happened after practice on Friday and one has to wonder, was he not caring for himself properly during practice? Did the training staff drop the ball by not noticing that the player was not up to snuff. Does a guy like him, who logs so many minutes in game action, even need to practice at this point of the season if he’s not completely 100% healthy?

All things we need answers to. The severity of the issue/illness will need to be explained but don’t be surprised if information is short from the Bruins organization itself. Right now it’s a wait and see situation with a nation of Black and Gold fans holding their collective breath.

Game One, You Fuckers

April 14, 2011
zdeno chare montreal canadiens max pacioretty

The Size Difference Between the Bruins and Habs is a Key Factor in the Series

I fucking hate the Montreal Canadiens.

I hate the team, I hate the individual players, I hate the coaches and the management and the ownership. Most of all I hate their snobbish, preening, know-nothing fans with their bent towards screeching hysteria and show tunes. If you need any evidence of this fact, please see the following.

Statement Game

The Ultimate Dive

Arrest Max Pacioretty

Goodbye You Lizard Scum

Sand Trap

Montreal Is Not A Hockey Town

Homerism Gone Wild In Montreal

One Punch Knockout

French Taunting

Frontier Justice

I Have Hate In My Heart

As you can see, I’ve jotted down my feelings about the Bleu, Blanc et Rougettes a couple of times. The Diving Princesses are not well liked around these parts. It has everything to do with the way they play the game and the nose-in-the-air nature of their boorish fans. The idiocy of people who call 911 for a hockey check or set cars on fire for a playoff series win. Who boo other countries national anthems. All of the above.

As such, I hope the Bruins crush them tonight. Run them out of the building. Use superior size and physicality and aggression to hammer them into whimpering submission and send them tail between legs into the Boston night, fearing for their lives. Afraid to return to TD Garden on Saturday for yet another vicious beating.

This is the mandate of the Boston Bruins tonight.

Beat them. Badly. Make it happen.

See you on Twitter for the game. @hockeygonewild.

Once More Unto The Breach

April 10, 2011

“From Hell’s Heart I Stab At Thee”

    – Captain Ahab

The Boston Bruins will once again face the Montreal Canadiens in the Stanley Cup Playoffs. In some ways it will be more of the same intense rivalry we have seen in the past. In some ways it will be completely different. The shadow of the Zdeno Chara – Max Pacioretty incident will hang over the entire proceedings like some monstrous pall of bloated idiocy thanks to the actions of the hysterical, whining fan base of the Bleu, Blanc et Rougettes.

Let me make that clear. It will be no fault of the Boston Bruins or their fan base that this series might immediately descend into a complete mockery of the sport we all love.

I’ll predict it right now.

The Habs’ fans won’t be able to handle this. They won’t be able to act like actual hockey fans. They’ve already proven that they don’t have that ability. We all saw it. We know about the 911 calls. We saw the protests. We’ve read enough high pitched preening whines in various forums and in the comments sections of TSN articles. It’s there for all to see and everyone outside of Quebec Province knows it for what it is.

The Montreal Canadiens team, organization and it’s fans are the biggest bunch of utter pussies that have ever walked into a hockey rink. Period.

And that includes Max Pacioretty, folks.

Once again, starting this Thursday, they will show us all how true that statement is.

More on this topic soon, as you might expect.

Testing 1,2,3

March 22, 2011

Tonight’s visit to the TD Garden by the New Jersey Devils marks the beginning of an important stretch for the Boston Bruins. Three games at home against three surging, hungry hockey teams with post-season aspirations that promise to give you extremely tough games. With the Bruins floundering a bit and looking “too comfortable”, and Claude Julien and others delivering the message that this is unacceptable, it looks like an excellent test for the team. A test of mettle, a test of sack.

As frustrating as it may be at this point of the season, 10 games from the start of the playoffs, the questions remain for the B’s: Who are you going to be, as a team? Which of you, as individuals, are going to elevate your play and emotion? Take things to that next level that Boston fans so desperately crave from their hockey team. They will be there in force for the next three nights, dressed in their black and gold, and their expectations will be high.

What will you show them?

The Devils, tonight, will be no easy start to the test. This is not the New Jersey team that started the season in a total quagmire. Jaques Lemaire has them playing his trademark tight defensive game and they have surged up the standings to within at least an outside chance at the post-season. Seven points out of eighth place might be a realistic long shot but don’t tell the Devils that. They’re 7-3 in their last 10 and ready to continue the hunt until the math says it’s done.

Sound familiar? Like, maybe, the Toronto Maple Leafs? Who pounded you 5-2 just as few nights back?

After that, of course, comes yet another potential Game-of-the-Season match-up with the Montreal Canadiens on Thursday. Now, the story lines behind this one are many and monsterous and I could (and will before the game) write a short novella on the topic but you all know what I’m talking about. It’s not just Chara/Pacioretty. It’s the fact that the Habs made you look silly in that last game up in Montreal. They skated circles around you and beat you so easily it looked like you weren’t even in the same league. It was the beginning of this poorly timed malaise and, surely, remains an embarrassing memory for the team.

Again. What are you going to do about it? You need to show us, as fans, and yourself as players that you can play with this team. That they are not the “bad match-up” that everyone is beginning to say they are. Because you might meet them in the first round of the playoffs and you can’t go into that series with everyone, including the Habs themselves, thinking they have your number.

The Rangers, meanwhile, in here on Saturday, remain near the bottom of the 8 Eastern playoff teams and are as badly in need of points as anyone. To their credit, they have won 4 straight at a critical time of the year, playing like the exact opposite of the Bruins. They also have an impressive 22 wins on the road. So, again, a hungry team in the playoff hunt looking for points and promising to give the Bruins a hell of a game, for sure.

We’ll know a lot more about the intestinal fortitude of the Bruins by Sunday morning (when they will be in Philadelphia preparing to face the Flyers, by the way). There is a lot of heat on the team and the ability of Claude Julien is being questioned a lot in the Boston media in recent days. The character of the team is being questioned. People want answers and these three games at home provide the perfect opportunity for answers.

Like I said, it’s an important stretch.

The question is, do the Bruins know that?

Columbus Clash

March 15, 2011

I don’t think I’d be speaking out of turn if I said neither the Columbus Blue Jackets nor the Boston Bruins had Tuesday, March 15th circled on their calendars at the start of this season as a Must Win Game. I’m not sure too many fans or media would have, either. Two teams from different conferences who see very little of each other playing on a weekday night. Just another stop on the schedule, right?

Not any more, folks.

The up-and-down Bruins are losers of 4 straight and certainly have to be feeling the burn of what’s happened since they returned to a hero’s welcome from an undefeated 6 game road trip to beat Tampa Bay at home. They were looking like the team they were supposed to be. They had found an identity. They were sitting atop TSN’s power rankings and looking like they deserved it.

Then came Pittsburgh. Then (deep sigh) Montreal. Buffalo. And the goddamned Islanders.

Full stop.

Suddenly we have a team apparently reeling from what happened to them at the hands of the Canadiens (and perhaps from another well publicized incident in that game, as well) and looking they they desperately need to rescue their cool before things get out of control. Where has the identity gone? Where is the balanced scoring and the goaltending that has led them so far? Where is the confidence? Their leader is under fire from all corners thanks to an absurd, hysteria driven witch hunt and it seems, instead of rallying to his side, they are buckling under the pressure. They’ve tumbled back to 3rd place in the East, a mere 2 points ahead of surging Montreal for the Northeast Division lead. Not good.

Enter the Columbus Blue Jackets. 3-4-3 in their last 10 games and desperately seeking some hope that one of the last playoff spots in the West are still within reach (currently 8 points behind Calagry for the final spot) they also need a win badly. Every game for them becomes a Must Win until the math says it’s over. I know damned well from conversations with Comrade Gonz just how badly the team and it’s fans want in to the Post-Season Party again. Hell, the long suffering loyalists there deserve it. They really do.

As such, the import and interest in tonight’s match is amped up that much higher. Here at HGW, CBJ vs. BOS has always been a grudge match. Now it seems we might not be the only ones who think so.

Game on, motherfucker!

New Bruins

March 4, 2011

tomas kaberle boston bruins
#12 Tomas Kaberle

chris kelly boston bruins
#23 Chris Kelly

rick peverley boston bruins
#49 Rich Peverley

The Death of WEEI

December 4, 2010

As a follow-up one of my more ranting articles, The Last Days of WEEI, posted almost a year ago now, I thought I’d share some recent developments that I thought were interesting concerning the current state of sports talk radio in Boston. As reported by the Boston Herald, WEEI is now being thoroughly thrashed in the ratings by upstart 98.5 The Sports Hub almost across the board in the key demographics of 25-54 year old males and 18-49 year old males. WEEI is the home of the Red Sox and Celtics broadcasts while The Sports Hub hosts the Bruins and Patriots.

What is tells me is that I am not alone in my distaste for the way WEEI has chosen to conduct themselves in recent years. Old fart radio with a clear, heavy political bent versus hardcore sports talk with a younger, hipper, funnier approach (and an FM signal on a highly recognizable station) is obviously winning out.

Decidedly.

It’s how it should be. When a listener such as myself, loyal to the station for nearly 20 years, decides he’s has enough and leaves you for good, you know you’re doing something essentially wrong to the format that, for so long, was so successful. Whoever it is that allowed the right wing politics to permeate the airwaves and diluted the sports talk (if indeed they haven’t already been fired) must now see that the Writing Is On The Wall. Listeners like myself have jumped ship in droves and continue to do so.

And guess what? There’s no going back. After listening to 98.5 for an extended time, any brief switch back to WEEI feels like going back in time to something old, worn out and stale. The stench of death is in the airwaves.

Amusingly enough, the only WEEI daytime show still beating 98.5 is the Dale and Holley Show, the least political, most balanced and most informative show on their airwaves. There’s a message there, if anyone at WEEI is bright enough to understand it.

As the current trend has revealed, that seems to not be the case.

Good Times Garden

November 19, 2010

Things are going well when a guy scores a hat trick and is the second star of the game.

The party atmosphere at TD Garden was thanks to a phenomanal game by Tuukka Rask who made 41 saves to earn his first win of the year via a 4-0 shutout of the visiting Florida Panthers. The Bruins were a bit on their heels all night with Panther forwards buzzing around Rask’s goal but the young Finnish netminder rescued everyone’s bacon with save after save.

In the end, it allowed Milan Lucic to slam home three goals for his second career hat trick. Cue the music and dancing. Fun times at the Beantown Rink.

Lucic is blossoming in a big way this season. He’s becoming the sort of Power Forward that NHL scouts have wet dreams about. Big, nasty and talented. The puck is going in for him like never before in his career. One thing is certain, the man is finally healthy. I don’t think we can discount just how badly that high ankle sprain hampered his game last season. We all said it at the time. He wasn’t the same player.

So welcome back, Looch. You have arrived in style, for sure.

Nathan Horton had three assists on all three Lucic goals. The Bruins’ number one line, even without pivot David Krejci, is becoming one of the killer lines in the entire NHL. Something to keep other teams’ coaches awake at night before they play Boston.

The fun part is that we all know the team can play better, too. With Krejci back and a guy like Boychuk shaking off the rust, the team’s performance will only improve. You now have what might be the best goaltending tandem in the entire League. Think about it. A recent Vezina winner currently leading the league in all goaltending statistical categories in Tim Thomas and Tuukka Rask, the guy who finished the year as the leader in those same categories last season.

It’s all going pretty well. Hell, Shawn Thornton has 4 goals. Talk about a gentleman who deserves a little success. Go toe-to-toe with the nastiest pugilists the NHL has to offer (last night it was Darcy Hordichuk) then go out an pop one in the net in the third period. How valuable is a guy who can do that and also play a solid defensive game on your grinding line? The Bruins seem to have all the puzzle pieces falling into place this season and last night was a great example of how excellent things can be when that happens.

Good times, indeed.