The HGW Awards

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The NHL is handing out it’s Awards for the 2009-10 season tonight in Las Vegas so we thought it was time to give out our own much coveted statues in slightly different categories than those the league traditionally celebrates.

Without further ado, the 2010 HGW Awards:

The Stan Jonathan Trophy – Or, as some call it, Fight of the Year. Technically, I’ve already awarded this one but it’s so frickin’ good it needs mentioning again. It was an easy choice for me this year. This marathon bout between Cam Janssen of the Blues and Pierre-Luc Letourneau-Leblond of the Devils on March 20th is just a test of will and stamina unlike any you’ve seen since Darren Langdon left the league. Hockeyfights.com has another bout featuring Janssen, this time vs. Rick Rypien, as their highest rated but I think it’s a close runner up to the one with PL3.

The Heimlich AwardBoston Bruins. We give this to them now in the hopes that, should they ever be up 3-0 in a playoff series or up 3-0 in a game seven again, they can put the explicit instruction manual that comes with this award to good use. Sometimes a balled up fist in the right spot can help avoid a lot of pain, misery and embarrassment. Nuff said.

Freakiest Playoff BeardVille Leino. That thing was just odd, wasn’t it? Sort of jutted out at a right angle from his jaw like Jay Leno had injected steroids directly into his own face then had beaver fur grafted onto his chin. Okay, so that description is a bit needlessly visceral, but you look that the thing and be the judge.

ville leino beard

Blog Rip of the Year Award – This one is a tie, simply because both are a) exquisite and b) tear down the snobbery of certain north of the border fans better than I could on by best effin’ day. I give you:

    Down Goes Brown’s (via Puck Daddy) Eulogy for the Montreal Canadiens.

    Derek Zona on From The Rink with The Worst Hockey Fans In Canada.

Both worth re-reading when you need a proper chuckle.

The Jamie Huscroft Humanitarian Award – The Toronto Maple Leafs organization. Here’s to Brian Burke and the Leafs not only sacrificing the entire future of the organization to give a home to troubled youngster Phil Kessel but, in the process, giving the abused fans of the Boston Bruins a little something called Hope with that 2nd overall pick in the 2010 draft. I don’t care what everybody says about you guys, you’re good people and your heart is in the right place. Can’t speak for the head, of course.

Greg Lougainis Memorial TrophyMaxim Lapierre. For the fifth year running, good old “Diver Down” Lappy gets his name inscribed on this one. To save money we’ve gone and ordered the next nine in bulk, done with his name on them, too, as well as the future Lifetime Achievement in Diving Award we’ll be handing out in 2021. The guy has it fucking sewn up.

And, of course, the most coveted of all the HGW honors. It’s the…

Hero of HGW Award

This year’s winner…

Evander Kane.

You all know why.

All winners will receive a Golden Statue of a man in a Fur Hat and Sunglasses as well as an all expenses paid (well, beer and bait, anyway) trip to Hooksett, New Hampshire for a weekend of fishing and late night Scene It. Wives or girlfriends not allowed unless it’s Henrik Zetterberg territory.

By the way, I’m wide open for any suggestions if any of you might have for an HGW Award winner or category I may have forgotten. Send ’em to me or post ’em in the comments and I’ll make sure they find their way into the mix.

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