Homerism Gone Wild in Montreal

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If you’re interested in what passes for journalism in the Montreal Gazette these days check out what amounts to a textual hand job from long time Canadiens scribe Red Fisher, posted over at NHL.com.

For Montrealers, hockey always has been more than just a game. It is our hopes, our dreams, our culture, our national identity.

Nowhere has it been played with more success and more passion. Nowhere does it elicit more joy from its audiences. When the Canadiens win, the fans win. When the Canadiens lose, they lose.

Once, the team was the blinding speed of a Howie Morenz. It was a Maurice Richard sweeping in on a goaltender whenever there was a game to be won. It was the grace of Jean Beliveau, the brilliance of Doug Harvey, the booming shot of Bernie Geoffrion, the finesse of Dickie Moore and the Hall of Fame excellence of Henri Richard, Yvan Cournoyer, Guy Lafleur, Larry Robinson, Bob Gainey and so many others.

How many treasured memories have they delivered to generations not only of Canadiens fans, but to Canadians across the land — and elsewhere? How much joy did they bring? How many hearts did they break — particularly among visiting teams?

Of course, you have to put that sort of thing in context. If that’s a hand job then Mike Boone’s Habs Fans of The World Unite! is someting the average guy would have to pay at least 30 CDN for in a back alley behind a Montreal strip club I’m sure.

…the Canadiens’ extraordinary upset of the Washington Capitalists was a victory for egalitarianism – particularly delicious because it sent the running dogs of U.S. imperialism off to join their fellow plutocratic swine on the golf course.

The good guys won – as will be the case when the world comes around to the realization that unfettered free enterprise is commodifying everything, ruining the planet and turning us into mindless consumers.

Um. Okay… A lot of big words in that article, Mike. The one notable omission would have to be “objectivity”.

But, hey, if that sort of embarrassingly hackish, yahoo reporting isn’t bad enough for you, maybe you’ll want to enter the Show Us Your Habs Colors! contest.

How much do you love the Montreal Canadiens? Show us.

We’re putting together a photo gallery of Habs fans in all their bleu-blanc-rouge glory. Send us your photos of your celebrations, your friends, your dog, your cat– anything that proves just how big a fan you are.

We’re also interested in hearing your stories about where you were when the Habs beat the Capitals in the first round of the 2010 playoffs, plus anything else you’d like to share.

Alright, alright. We know you’re riding a high right now. Fine. You upset the Caps and now it’s Destiny in your minds. I’m not sure I can even blame you. But “Where you were when the Habs beat the Capitals…”? Are you fucking kidding me? As much as you’d like to paint it thusly, this wasn’t exactly the assasination of a world leader. No one landed on the moon. And no one flew through the air after scoring an overtime goal to win the Stanley Cup.

So Calm Down. You’re about to face the defending Cup champions and a player so good the puts some of the names on Red Fisher’s dribbling glory list to absolute shame. You’ll also be facing Marc-Andre Fleury, a goaltender a whole lot better than the B-Grade talent the Washington Capitals ran out there. He’s actually got a ring on his finger, too, unlike your new Three Game National Hero. What really might piss you off is that he’s French Canadien and you guys couldn’t cheat the entry draft and get him on your team in this day and age.

So do me a favor. Try and remember the fact that you guys are journalists and not fanboys. Try and do your jobs in a way that is slightly less embarrassing to the profession and there will be less cause for folks like me to sit down and make such gloriously easy fun of you. It might also help you better report on the Pittsburgh Penguins beating the pants off of your girls tonight and the fact that the Stanley Cup is going to reside in an Evil Capitalist American City. Again.

Meanwhile, I’m starting my own Show Us Your Colors style thread.

Where Were You When The Habs Took Three Diving Penalties In One Playoff Game?

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5 Responses to “Homerism Gone Wild in Montreal”

  1. nightfly Says:

    I was thinking about how popular soccer is in Montreal compared to Washington DC.

  2. gonz Says:

    No less of a prognosticator than the Columbus Blue Jackets’ RJ Umberger knew that the Capitals wouldn’t make it past the first round, no matter who they faced.

    http://blog.dispatch.com/cbj/2010/04/umberger_calls_it.shtml

  3. Ken Socrates Says:

    Jesus, the bastard hit the nail on the head, didn’t he? I fully admit I hadn’t the slightest clue the Caps could be so easily beaten. If you think 7 games isn’t exactly easy, well, just watch how quickly the Pens take out the Canadiens in comparison.

    Bottom line, if a bunch of flopping daffodils like the Habs can knock you out of the Stanley Cup playoffs, you didn’t belong there anyway.

    Feel shame, Washington. Feel shame.

  4. KofC Says:

    Heh, a lot of “Umberger was right!” and “Who knew Umberger was such a prophet?” went around after Wednesday’s game. I thought he had an interesting point that might prove true about the Caps vs Western teams…but who knew they wouldn’t be good in the playoffs against the East, either? It takes more than just scoring dozens of goals more than other teams in the regular season.

    How much of this is Caps collapse and how much is Habs talent, I don’t know…but I am guessing the series against the Pens will show it’s more the former.

    And now against my better judgment I’ll actually click the links in this piece…

  5. Ken Socrates Says:

    Better judgement? Now there’s a concept that’s not going to come in too handy here at HGW. Let me know if you ever feel hindered by it again and I can mix you something tall and cold that will make sure you don’t have any judgement at all to worry about.

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