10 Things We Learned From The First Round

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1. There’s something to be said about Youth. Whether it’s good young goalies like Jonas Hiller and Simeon Varlamov leading their teams to victory or the rash of young forwards like Boston’s Phil Kessel, David Krejci and Milan Lucic or Chicago’s Patrick Kane and Jonathan Toews having such a big impact on their team’s success, there seems to be a trend developing. Even Ovechkin and Crosby are still under 25. It’s a New Age, folks. I feel old.

2. Sergei Fedorov is not dead. He just looks that way. That game winner vs the Rangers looked like the Fedorov of old, a world class, laser beam, top corner money shot. Maybe playing big games in a red uniform makes him feel young again, who knows. At 39 years old, he’s a great example of a veteran playoff performer who can still make a difference. Take that, Kournikova.

3. Versus Sucks. It just does. You know it. I know it. They may be great at covering deer hunting and cage fighting and motocross, I wouldn’t know, but they suck at hockey. Example one: Their “contractual” inabillity to switch over and cover the end of the Canes – Devils series after Washington and New York had finished, denying millions of interested fans the chance to see one of the most exciting finishes to a playoff series in recent memory. Instead we just got an extra 45 minutes of staring at Brian Engblom’s hair. Thanks a lot. Morons.

4. Joe Thornton needs a change of scenery. I think his time in San Jose might be done after another crushing early round defeat. Folks there have no choice but to wonder if they will ever win with him leading the parade and whether it might be time to see what he could bring in trade. Unfortunately for Joe, that’s exactly how it happened in Boston, too. Say it isn’t so.

5. There’s a reason Olli Jokinen had never been in the playoffs before. Maybe he’s just not the kind of player that’s going to put anyone over the top in terms of post-season success, people. His impact on the Flames was negligible, having only one decent game that I can recall and, in fact, in the final two losses he went pointless with a plus/minus of -4. How’s that price tag of Matthew Lombardi, Brandon Prust, and a 1st round draft pick looking now, Calgary? Ouch.

6. The Carolina Hurricans are pretty goddamned good. Again. You have to wonder if the fairly consistent success of this team is wasted down there in NASCAR country but that’s a rant for another time. Meanwhile, they knock off Jersey in dramatic style and come to Boston hoping to do the same. Prepare for the storm.

7. John Tortorella is not Mike Milbury. Throwing a water bottle? C’mon, John. If you’re gonna go apeshit at a fan behind the bench, do it right. Get your ass up over that glass, get the fat bastard’s shoe off and then beat the motherfucker with it. It’s the only way them shitheads will ever learn. Nice idea going for the stick, though. Too bad they stopped you.

8. The Columbus Blue Jackets have hope. Sure they went down in 4 straight to Detroit but anyone who witnessed the fight they put up in that last game saw a glimmer of the pride and desire one needs to make hay in the playoffs. Lesson learned. Might have been the first berth ever but certainly will not be the last. And then there’s Steve Mason, too. The future is bright.

9. The Boston Bruins are Back. It’s been a long time coming and any hardened B’s fan will tell you about their sufferings during the last decade. Lack of winning, lack of toughness, lack of pride. All those things were making even the die-hards a little ashamed of wearing the Spoked B. No more. This team is motivated, hungry, talented and fierce. All the things we love about hockey. Good defense, good goaltending, deep offense and some slamming tough guys. Who in Boston wouldn’t love that?

10. The Montreal Canadiens, their entire franchise, it’s players and it’s fans, are complete and utter weak, bagless failures. Period. No argument. No doubt. No need to go into any more detail as it was all laid bare for the world to see in their whimpering first round defeat. The way the team behaved, the way the coaches and management behaved and, especially, the way the fans at the games in the Molson Centre behaved. It was truly and completely embarrasing. Feel shame, Montreal. Feel shame.

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2 Responses to “10 Things We Learned From The First Round”

  1. Emily Says:

    Talk about Versus sucking. They covered one of the games in the Ducks/Sharks series and two of the announcers were blathering about some side subject. The Ducks scored and they continued their bleeting stupidity until another announcer had to actually come in and say “guys….um, goal…?” That’s just straight-up incompetence.

  2. Maddog Says:

    Here, here. Versus sucks. I’m getting older, as well. They expect ME to read that teeny tiny graphic about the power play? C’mon, I still haven’t bought a big screen. BTW, glad to see you’re still hammering the Habs. As I saw you post once, “au revoir, bitches”. Regards, MD.

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