French Taunting


The Montreal Canadiens are done.

That’s not news, of course. Anyone watching their first round playoff series with the Boston Bruins has seen all they needed to see to know that they have been soundly, thoroughly out played and out classed by a team with superior skill, grit and desire. A team with a future.

What I mean, though, is that the team is really done. Not just for this season but for the forseeable future. You can see it on their faces, on the faces of the fans who once considered themselves NHL Royalty but who now find them selves having to swallow the bitter reality of knowing they are little more than the new Peasants of the Hockey Realm. Look no further than today’s optional skate at the Habs’ practice facility where, facing a do-or-die Game 4 and a completely humiliating sweep at the hands of their most hated rivals, only nine players showed up to participate.

Throwing in the towel, boys? Not a surprise, really. Not only are they more painfully aware than anyone that they never had a chance in the series but about 10 of them, approaching unrestricted free agency at the end of this season, of seemingly have their feet out the door already. Notably on that list, the completely ineffective Mike Komisarek, the always bored Alexei Kovalev and Team Captain Saku Koivu.

It can’t be easy to swallow, I know, no matter how good the average Habs fan is at that art. With this being the franchise’s Centennial Season, with all that accompanying celebratory hoopla and the sky high expectations for the team coming into 2008-’09, it must seem like someone came along and pissed in your Molson. But then, what franchise and it’s fan base more deserves a taste of humilty?

On the other hand, there has been a lot to celebrate if you’re a Bruins fan watching this series and a lot to laugh about. First and foremost being the Canadiens assertion after being handily smothered in Game 3, that their hard work is just not being rewarded while the Bruins are getting all the bounces. You can read a coment below that piece from a typical, vision impaired Montreal fan who wants to believe that that’s been the case all season long, that the B’s have gotten where they are via naught but lucky breaks.

Slight pause while I wipe up the drink I just blew out of my nose while cackling about that one again.

Right. So lucky bounces are what makes the difference between finishing second overall in the the entire NHL and barely squeaking into the last playoff spot in the East at the last minute, a single pubic hair ahead of the completely irrelevant Florida Panthers?

Keep thinking that, Bleu, Blanc et Rougettes and while you do, keep getting used to the term “irrelevant”. That’s what you and your team are right now. Chances are, it ain’t gettin’ better anytime soon, either.

Other amusing aspects of the Canadiens’ downward spiral:

The saga of Georges Laraque. Bob Gainey, for his own mysterious reasons, put BGL on the first line to start the series, breaking up his best scoring unit and inserting a useless, one dimensional player who wasn’t even dressing for regular season games late in the year. I guess he was hoping to instill some toughness or intimidate the Bruins, both notions laughable, but what was really funny was how Laraque responded by mouthing off about various Boston tough guys, notably Shawn Thornton, who he said was “too small” for him to fight. Thornton, a wise, classy veteran, replied with a shrug and vastly superior, infinitely more valuable play and leadership on the ice than Georges could ever provide. Grinding, hitting, playing defense and even scoring a goal in Game 3, Thornton put BGL to absolute, utter shame.

You know what you just learned, BGL? Next time just shut the fuck up.

Here’s one of my favorite moments from the series. Trash talking Josh Gorges when he finally mustered the stones to actually drop the gloves, chose obvious non-fighter Patrice Bergeron to dance with, surely thinking he would have an easy time with a young man who had lost the entire previous season to post-concussion symptoms.

Here’s what happened:

Watch it again in slow motion. It’s flipping great.

How he could even face his own teammates after that, after getting beat to the ice by a 180 pound guy who never fights, is beyond me. He can never open his mouth in an NHL game ever again. Now that’s hilarious.

Lastly, then, there is the Montreal fans classless, infantile booing of the American national anthem before Game 3. What more can I say about this than the act itself reveals about it’s perpetrators?

Allow me to address them, regardless.

To all Montreal Canadiens Fans:

Yours is the feeble behaviour of bitter, morose losers who simply cannot handle the obvious reality that your team has become weak and inferior in every aspect. To act the way you did betrays to all who observe it that you have lost all pride in yourselves, all dignity. It can’t even be said that such an act is beneath you because you have now fallen so low that you actually exist at that level now, mired in resentment and jealousy and unable to admit your own failures, blind to how pathetic you have become.

I might have once considered you despicable for such a thing but it’s come to the point that I would feel bad for you if I felt anything at all. In reality, you are now a footnote to what the Bruins are trying to accomplish. The vaunted rivalry has amounted to nothing as you become a small, easily overcome rung on the team’s glorious upward journey to Lord Stanley’s upper reaches.

I’m disappointed in you, in your team, that you couldn’t put up more of a fight. Give us something to worry about, give us a test. Make it interesting, at least. You didn’t however. You barely showed up and when you did, you might as well have been wearing figure skates.

Like I said, your team is done. You are done.

Au revoir, bitches.


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6 Responses to “French Taunting”

  1. Maddog Says:

    This is a beautiful post. I second the “Au revoir, bitches.” And I’m a Blackhawks fan. We think the Habs fans are losers, also.

  2. Ken Socrates Says:

    Thanks, Maddog. A Bruins – Blackhawks Stanley Cup Final would be a beautiful thing, wouldn’t it? Original Six in all it’s glory, two talented young teams. I can’t imagine a more exciting way to wrap it all up than that.

    Let’s keep the faith and make it happen.

  3. Gonz O'Lager Says:

    Whereas your Bruins have risen to the occasion, what were once my Blue Jackets have divested themselves of all manhood and reportedly are planning on spending game four against Detroit bent over at center ice with signs affixed to their keister that say “Kick Here!”.

  4. Gonz O'Lager Says:

    Hey, Ken, check this out:

  5. Chippy McGuinness Says:

    The worst thing about Habs fans is their pathetic insistence on bragging about their former glory. Twenty-four Stanley Cups, blah, blah, blah. And when’s the last time those bitches brought it to Montreal? 1993? Losers. Shut the hell up. Maybe if they spent more time booing their team instead of the American national anthem, those jackasses might hear the message.

    At least your Bruins didn’t have to go up against a team of whiny little CHEATERS. That’s how the Penguins are leading this series, you know. They are CHEATING.

  6. Game One, You Fuckers « Hockey Gone Wild Says:

    […] French Taunting […]

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